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  • Somehow I’m not forum-banned yet (y’all should probably get to work on that), so I’ll guess I’ll put this here.

    Apologies for taking so long to… apologize. I was going to write some big philosophical essay about my reasoning for what I did, and why it might’ve made sense at the time, and how I can improve. But honestly, after thinking about it for a few days, everyone who is self-aware enough to understand what I was going to say wouldn’t need to hear it to begin with. Anyways.

    None of what I did made sense. Nothing that I did that day made sense. None of the gameplay on Monday made sense. It was a combination of mistakes upon mistakes from days prior. It didn’t make sense to drop the hard-r in chat for entirely selfish reasons, and therefore I shouldn’t have done it, plain-and-simple. I’m sorry I trivialized a racial slur because what I thought was the prejudice and suffering and history behind it would represent my anger at my team, as if it were a sort of weapon. As I understand now, it isn’t my place to do that, or even my place to set the line there. But I don’t believe in forgiving and forgetting, and I still don’t understand why people tried to be even marginally nice after Monday, because if I forget I might just let myself get angrier and end up snapping again.

    And despite how much I still hate everything about my team as players, they’re probably some of the nicer people I’ve met in this community. So I’m not going to defile their name as human beings by association. I’m just going to step back for a while. If there’s anyone out there who thinks there’s something more I have to do to fix things, especially members of the Black community, please let me know.

    I’m going to talk to my former team and some former friends now, at their convenience. Goodbye.

  • We’ll miss you, man. Even though what you did was not the right decision, you know what you did was wrong and have taken responsibility, which I’m sure most, if not all, of the community can respect. We might not have known each other that well but I respected you as a player, and even after Monday I still respect you as a person, especially after this post. Good luck with whatever you do.

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  • dont worry man i forgive you

  • We all make mistakes sometimes. While I do think what you did is wrong, I’m glad you are able to take responsibility for your actions, it speaks a lot to the character I’ve known you for ever since I got to know you. I hope to see you back some time soon man.

  • people do this all the time its not really some special case people slip up you just cant do that in rgl tho. you cant make mistakes even if u alr will fix it

  • You made a stupid ass decision.

    You made a selfish decision to say something you should never say, as your team was struggling with the first match they’ve ever taken a hard loss on. And you still find the time to criticize your team in your apology thread, despite the fact that none of them took an easy way out and quit on each other, like you did. I’ve been on the receiving end of absolutely getting obliterated in a match, even including a grand finals match on Upward (UGC S20 Grand Finals vs Jammers where andrew went off for 800 dpm in a half and we got hard held on first), and I didn’t go out and quit on my team, or say something that has so much history of being hateful, a word that is so utterly vile. Something that you immediately defended yourself after, by claiming you weren’t actually a racist.

    Take however long your ban is from RGL to do some serious self-reflection. Don’t come back until you have proven that you are actually capable of change, because this apology thread means nothing. Results and change mean something. Don’t make a blanket statement on the forums trying to seek pity from the larger RGL crowd, go and apologize directly to those who you have both offended, and sabotaged, then go and focus on what you must do in order to improve as a person. You must be better than this.

  • grow up little buddy.

  • if you need to use words of hate to get out of dealing with some uncomfortable video game pixels, i recommend finding a new way to grow as a person and don’t come back.

  • @moxie Intent matters more than anything else, including the outcome. Do not let anyone else tell you otherwise. Thank you for honestly describing your intentions for why you did such a thing, it’s important so people around you may understand why you would do this in the first place. I see now that you were just selfish, lost, and not in a proper state of mind at the moment. Hopefully the people who matter to you understand and forgive you eventually.

    Your intentions were to visually show your team how frustrated you were, including getting yourself banned for two weeks. I understand now that you were not trying to hurt anyone based on their race. You definitely got what you wished for. I would make the best out of the situation and give yourself the break you wished for, then come back to attempt to resolve the internal conflict with your teammates.

    good luck man, take this time to just better yourself

  • all you had to do was say “i quit” and stop playing the game, now you made urself look like a goofy ass clown 😬

  • grow up little buddy.

  • Don’t worry brochacho, playing the game can be stressful. It happens. I will look forward to the next season you decide to come back to main for another team.

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